Peruvian Pavo and Pumpkin Pie

December 1, 2009 • written by Luis Gonzales, Guest Contributor

This will be the second year that I, Peruvian, self-proclaimed macho-man, will cook the turkey for my gringa-wife’s very American family.   And what an exquisite turkey it will be: spicy, juicy, Peruvian pavo, topped with tomato, red onion, salad with lime and oil dressing and sandwiched in warm, crusty French bread!  In spite of my insistence we don’t need another thing for a satisfying meal, my wife and her family will be sure to include their cultural culinary essentials for Thanksgiving: stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, and way more than we will possibly be able to eat at one sitting.   Our Thanksgiving, much like the first Thanksgiving, is a bi-cultural celebration of difference.

When I first met my beautiful wife, Jill, I never thought I would marry a gringa.  I am a traditional man in many ways.  I don’t easily invite change into my life. I didn’t immigrate to the U. S. until I was 33 years old. I had an established career in Lima as a lawyer.  I only came because my father had immigrated years earlier and as his son I was eligible for U.S. residency as long as I came to live in the U.S.  I never thought I would stay.  Then I met that strong-headed gringa, so much the opposite of me, and my heart really had no other choice.  I fell in love.  I still talked about returning to Peru and entering politics.  When I asked Jill if she would marry me, she made clear that that if we were to get married and have children she wanted to stay in the U.S.  Although secretly I thought I would be able to convince her otherwise later, I agreed.   I was in love.   Neither of us had any idea at that time we were choosing a life of embracing and celebrating difference.

Embracing difference may sound politically correct, or perhaps even romantic or poetic, but I am the first to admit, it isn’t all harmony and hugs on the road to the sweet embrace.  It takes listening to what sounds like sour notes and understanding to someone else they may be quite melodious.  Surely, every marriage takes work and give and take, but a bi-cultural union means those negotiations are constant, and plateaus of common understanding are fewer and farer in between.   Imagine arguing about foreign ideas in a foreign language.  I’ll never forget my wife insisting she need “her space”.  What space? She had lived comfortably in a studio apartment for years, our two bedroom home was much bigger. What more space did she need?

Like preparing a Thanksgiving banquet, getting through misunderstandings like these, requires serious time and effort before you can relax and enjoy the flavorful outcome of the fruits of your labor. Yet, there are several advantages to embracing difference. If one enters a union, conscious they are indeed embracing someone who represents difference, when the sour notes of discord are heard, they aren’t as shockingly disturbing.  In fact, they come to be the expected soundtrack of life.

When such differences do cause discomfort, they can always be blamed on cultural difference, instead of being personalized.  So while I may feel impatient, and even disgusted while my wife plans table decorations with real acorns and leaves (can she get those things sterilized before she puts them on the table?), in the end I will smile and blame it all on Martha Stewart, and hope that no bugs crawl onto my Peruvian pavo.

She will be equally appalled when I ask her to help me hoist the turkey onto its breastbone halfway through the cooking process.  Ultimately, though, she’ll take the cooking mitts out of my hands and get them good and greasy as she turns the beast onto its breast and warns me I’d better have it carved before anyone sees the unsightly bird.   Later she will explain to her family, it is Peruvian tradition to have the turkey carved before the guests arrive.

When the meal is served and the compliments of the table setting and the Peruvian pavo roll in, we will both bask in pride, thankful that we succeeded in blending our differences with love and patience, and created something worth our efforts.  We will pray and thank God that for the most precious products of our bi-cultural embrace, our children, Sofia and Luis Antonio!

Luis Gonzales teaches Spanish at MCHS.

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