You are cordially invited to my extravagant eighteenth
March 17, 2009 • written by Jillian Luchsinger
A hotel ballroom for a night, $18,000. Invitations for 200 family members and friends, $500. A knockout dress, $600. The perfect coming of age party to remember, priceless.
As a tradition in several cultures and societies, there is an importance on celebrating when young woman reaching a certain age.
“My parents gave me the feeling that I would always have one,” senior Mericien Venzon said.
In the Filipino culture, when a girl reaches 18 it is celebrated with a cotillion or debut. During a traditional cotillion ceremony, the debutante, the birthday girl, is presented by the eight girls in her court with a cake and they light eighteen candles. The girls then take turns to talk and honor the debutante with words of wisdom, the importance of their relationship, or any other appreciative speech.
As well as the eight girls in the court, eight males and the debutante’s escort are included to make a total of eighteen in the court. As part of the ceremony, the males present the debutante with eighteen roses, typically when performing a dance for the debutant.
During the cotillion, the court performs several dances. Traditionally, a waltz is performed, along with any other dance routines of choice. It has become popular for the court to learn and perform one or several hip-hop dances.
After the dances, most family members have speeches for the young woman, expressing their love and appreciation and honoring her. When all of the traditional ceremonies are done, the real celebration begins and the party starts.
The cotillion is recognized as a milestone in a Filipino young woman’s life, in addition to all of her family and friends.
But having such an extravagant party does not come without a cost. When asked why she wasn’t having a cotillion, junior Arianna David would rather have a shopping spree instead of a cotillion. In order to have a successful celebration, months of planning and thousands of dollars are put into the event.
The average range for the price of a cotillion is $30,000-50,000 including everything from the location, dress and tuxedo rentals for the court, flowers, catering, a DJ, invitations, favors, and the list could continue depending on how elaborate the party is.
With the poor economy during recent years, it is true that some cotillions have had to downsize, but doesn’t take away from the importance of the tradition.
“It can be really expensive just being in a cotillion because the court sometimes has to pay for their own rentals and everything. Yet, I still feel that I’m doing something really important for her,” senior Earvin Lacap said, who has been in several cotillions.
In addition to being a costly experience, having a cotillion also is a huge time commitment for not only the debutante, but everyone else that is involved. Planning a cotillion begins months before the actual event and only becomes more time consuming as it gets closer to the day.
Also, it can become stressful for the participants to manage their schoolwork along with lengthy, frequent practices.
“I had practice three to four times a week to learn the dances. Plus, I had to finish all of my homework and study for tests,” senior Andrew Eramella said, who has participated in a court for a cotillion.
Along with the Filipino culture, Latinos have their own variation of the cotillion. When a girl turns 15, it is celebrated by having a Quinceañera. The ceremony begins with a religious ceremony in honor of the girl becoming a woman, including her family and close friends. After the Mass, everyone proceeds to a reception, where the girl is celebrated with food, dance, and music.
Like a cotillion, a Quinceañera includes a court. Traditionally it is made up of seven couples, representing her preceding years, plus the young woman and her escort. However, modernly a court isn’t limited to a specific number unless she is honoring a traditional ceremony.
During the celebration, it is typical to perform the traditional waltz, as well as multiple other Latin dances. The Quinceañera has her first dance with her father, following with any other close male figures in her life and after these initial presentations, the guests join in on the dance floor.
“I’ve been an escort before for a quince, and it’s a really special experience when you are honoring the girl,” senior Salvador Borrayo said.
Still, like a cotillion, a Quinceañera also is a time consuming activity.
“I’ve had practices four, five times a week to prepare, and as it gets closer, practices get longer and more intense,” said Borrayo.
After all of the hard work and commitment for either event, the final result is well worth the effort and truely appreciated by the honored birthday girl.
“It’s a good way to show those who have been a part of your life that your thankful for them,” Venzon said.
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